Saturday, May 14, 2011

Ps. 77:17-18 ...voice of thy thunder...lightenings...the earth trembled and shook.

Earthquake!! It was not strong where I was. In fact three of us went walking after the thunder storm was over. (It rained really hard, and the thunder was deafening. Lightening cracked and popped. So people that are fearful of these would have a hard time here right now. The rainy season is definitely here). As far as the quake goes, we only noticed that something out of the ordinary was happening because the tree that we were near started shaking and dropping water on us. And then we realized that it must have been a quake. I called it a tremor, but the TV said it was a 5.8. The family that lives above me said it shook some things off their walls. Everything in my house was the same. I guess it makes a difference whether your on ground floor or above. Psalms 77:17-18 describes yesterday to a tee.

I think it's a reminder of just how powerful our God is and what kind of authority He has. Totally awesome. I'm so glad I'm in His hand.

Monday, May 9, 2011

II Sam.12:23 I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.

My last entry was the 17th of April. Wow, a lot has happened since then. April 18th thru the 1rst of May was basically vacation time from studies. New students were to come in on the 27th of April, and we all were to meet them when they arrived at CINCEL. I was looking forward to a time of rest and maybe to see a little of Costa Rica. But none of that happened.

On the 19th, I received a note from my youngest son, Doug, that my 3 month old granddaughter had died. What??? Evidently she died of SIDS. Leah belongs to my second oldest son, Kenneth. She was born Jan. 8th. In my immediate family, we have not had a child die. Miscarriages, yes, but not this. I was totally shocked. I had to go home. I knew that Leah was already in heaven, but mom, dad, and sisters were still here! My neighbor, Tona came over to help me get plane reservations, etc. because I just couldn't get it together. What a blessing she was. And of course, the teachers and students that heard came over to comfort me and to be of help if possible. How long do I stay, and many other questions were going through my mind. I decided to return to C.R. on the 30th. On the flight home, I remember thinking that I wanted to hold Leah if possible. My daughter Penny and her husband were on their way from IL to KS. Doug, Penny, and Steve met me at the airport. The next morning, Penny, Steve and I were on our way to OK. There were no words to say to Kenny and Angela, just hugs and tears. We then went to the funeral home. She looked like a little doll laying there in that so very small casket. The funeral director asked if we wanted to hold her, and both her mommy and I said yes. So precious. My first meeting with my new granddaughter, and my last, on this earth anyway. Daddy had to leave the room.

When Leah's sister, Faith, heard that I had held Leah, she asked me why since Leah wasn't there. All I could say was that her body was still there, and I wanted to hold her. I had total peace through it all. Yes, my heart was(is) heavy for my son and Angela, but I knew and still know that God in all his wisdom and mercy has a purpose and a plan for all involved. If I could answer the question Why, then I would be God. I know that God gave Angela a couple of dreams to help give her peace, and she shared those with me. God is moving in this family in ways that we cannot see or know. And I trust Him explicitly. After all, I only have this family because He's the one who gave me all my children, and I have to remember that they in actuality are His, whether they serve Him at this time or not. All souls belong to Him according to Ezek. 18:4. He gave this scripture to me before I left for the mission field. So when I get to heaven, I am going to meet my granddaughter, Leah, and I believe we will know each other. I could be wrong there, but that's not a big deal, because we will still meet.

I thank God that He laid me on the heart of Pastor Julie before they received my email telling them of the sad news. God always takes care of His children. He knows the beginning and the end, and I am so thankful that I am His child, and that Pastors Bryan and Julie hear the voice of the Holy Spirit and obey Him.

It's interesting that my daughter-in-law, Jen, said that this was the first time in 14 years that all five of my children were together. Wow! So of course pictures were taken. Always at family gatherings like Thanksgiving and Christmas, there would always be one or two missing. That's not uncommon when family members live in different states. But what a sad occasion for this to happen. BUT God has a plan and purpose.

So today, classes began. I have the same teacher that I had the first seven weeks that I was here. But at least I can understand most of what she is saying, whereas before, I didn't. So I praise God that I have learned more than I thought I had.

We had AGTS last week. Theology classes. I have struggled with wearing the "missionary" hat. It slips down over my eyes! I have told my Father that I am not a missionary, more times than one. A teacher, yes, but not a missionary. Did you ever argue with God, the Father? There's no winning. So after classes last week, I guess I am. The hat doesn't slip as far as it once did, but...So I have been reading about some famous or not so famous missionaries, because before I was called here, I have to admit, I knew basically nothing about them. I still don't know a lot, but I'm learning. I can see God's hand in the books that Don, CINCEL director, has been loaning to me. Amazing what God does in our lives. Truly He is an exciting God. What an adventurer! Thank you Lord.

Boy, I think that my English is getting worse. I have to think twice about spelling some words, and to double think about writing my sentences! That's really crazy, except that's it's a sure sign that Spanish is beginning to take hold. Hallelujah!!

I just praise God everyday for His love and care of me and mine. He is truly an awesome God, and He loves like no one else. And when we really relinquish all to Him, He does amazing things in us and for us. We Christians continually say that God is in control, but when bad, or rather what we consider to be bad happens, do we still believe that He is in control? Yes, I do. What about you?